..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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