Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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