im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
