Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
is wine microwaveable?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
