Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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