help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
