So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize