You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
How's work?
Spinning.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Randomize
