thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
