I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
