Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize