i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
