Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
