"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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