i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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