she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
