Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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