glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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