we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Shame - the story of my life.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
