DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
