I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
