she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
