if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
