Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
