quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
