would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
wanna go halves on a baby?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
