a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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