Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize