no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just made out with a guy for $7.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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