How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
