You can't motorboat a personality
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize