if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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