i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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