what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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