what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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