I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
