It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
