i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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