he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
