So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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