It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize