Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize