i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
wow bdsm is so cute
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
