Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
someone get that fucking seahorse.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
