God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Let's get the cat blown out
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
