I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
