as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
