my mouth tastes like poor choices
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
