ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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