If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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