I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
