He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
