I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
