That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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