playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
