me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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