nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
