it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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