I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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