He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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