How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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