I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
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