too bad you live with your parents still
Someone shit on the floor
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize