Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
