is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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