All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
