I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize