I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
