help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
