I seem to have left my pride at pride
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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