Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
