He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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