In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
