I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
