i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
