I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
