What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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